Growing Fondness thy name is Distance?
Distance makes the heart grow fonder? read the FB status of a close friend…& it got me thinking. Does it ? , was the question I was asking myself. I started considering if there were any changes in my relationship with the people closest to me like my parents, my brother & my best friends.
Well moving out of Mumbai was something I never wanted to do; I did not bother attempting to pursue my studies outside in spite of the opportunities. The only thing that I was clear about was, whatever dreams & aspirations I had I will be achieving them very much in my hometown & I did that (thank God at the time of being interviewed for my job no one asked me if I was rigid about my locational preference). I know in this age I might sound like I am from the cretaceous period for being so rigid about moving out…but I did not bother. I just did not want to move out of the perfect set up that I had of family & friends.
Then about two years ago I met this guy who I knew I wanted to spend my life with, but there was a small glitch. Though being from Mumbai, he would not be staying in Mumbai for ‘a while’…& that while did not have a timeframe. So today I am sitting in Copenhagen on a cold evening wondering if distance makes the heart grow fonder.
I would say it does not; at least for me it hasn’t. My fondness for all my loved ones hasn’t changed than earlier. But something is different, it definitely is, what is it then?.
I never spent time with mom earlier just talking, my brother & me could never have a civil conversation all we did was had stupid fights, dad was busy with his work & so was I …we did not bother much, to take some time out to spend together. I did make time for all my friends despite being busy with work. Weekdays was always work & more of work and sometimes may be catch up with friends over coffee or dinner. One of my self made rule, that I religiously followed was of the two days of the weekend that I had, one day was exclusively for my family. On this so called family day, all I did was spend it in my room with my laptop, phone, TV, books, catching up on lost sleep…..
But now a year & a half that I have been away from home, things have changed. I have realized that communication and expressing my fondness was what was missing earlier. I have to talk to mom every single day no matter which corner of the world I am or she is, dad & me have Skype sessions very often if not daily. My brother & me have a lot of conversations right from professional talk, to politics to sports, handling relationships… we also pull each other’s legs & sometimes have fights also over Skype…pheewww its difficult to believe that do we actually behave in this manner with each other now. What about my best friends, I think each one of them will vouch for me that, like earlier I still keep in touch with all of them, yes I am not there physically for the rendezvous over coffee ,lunches, dinners, parties….but I have not forgotten any of them & we still talk.
Well I am glad that this physical distance made me realize that I was not spending time & effort on nurturing my relationship with the people who are world to me and this is a lesson that I do not repeat the mistake with some of my newly made ties.
But it has also sparked some other thoughts. What happens when the distances that are created are emotional ones or mental ones? They would not be as easy to overcome as these are distances created by heart.
Well, right now I am happy overcoming the physical ones & for the rest, as they say ‘sometimes it’s best to keep ones distance’….
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