I,Me,Myself…

04Mar11

Ever wondered what it is to be like all alone for 9-10 hours a day? If someone were to ask me this question, my reply would be ‘Are you nuts, firstly to ask such a question and then the answer would be I will go mad if I ever have to encounter such a situation’. I am constantly surrounded by people all the time be it work or home so it’s a impossible kind of situation. I meet new people on a daily basis because of my work, then I would do any kind of adjustments to spend time with my friends and last but not the least I had my family to whom I yearn to get back to after a day of hard work. So there was no chance that I could think of spending that long a time all by myself. But yeh I did complain that I was not getting to spend some time just by myself to do nothing, or to do some things which I would have otherwise loved to. I would crib that I am not getting enough of ‘ME’ time.

Then a year back God said ‘Tathastu, you will have the ME time that you so wanted’. I got married moved to a different city & now a totally different continent, quit my job, away from family and friends. Now the same question is back and I am actually spending 9-10 hours of the day by myself where I am my own company. The first few days I was in a state of exhilaration. No alarm to wake me up..jab aankh khule tabhi savera was my mantra, my mobile which earlier rang 24*7 at any time of the day/night had suddenly died, no more meeting requests, presentations ,spread sheets..life was bliss. I got to pursue my hobby of painting that I always wanted to, caught up on some reading, travelling, falling sick and just staying in bed all day to get the rest required & not feeling guilty about it and all such things which I had missed out. Basically a break that I felt I sooo needed after 5 years of slogging.

Now its almost a year spending most of my productive hours of time with myself I have learnt a lot of new things about my own self, since I have a lot of time to do self introspection. Many new strengths, some weaknesses, some different perspectives to various things and life in general. I indeed feel I have learnt and grown as an individual. But now I crib  that I have had enough of the ME time and now I yearn for all the thrills of my work , those targets, numbers crunching, spread sheets, meetings and all of it. I have started the process of attempting to rebuild my career, social circle with a new set of friends (though my family & friends back can be never replaced)but I guess that will take a while and so my ‘ME’ time continues.

Well like all phases and seasons, I know that this ME time will not last for long and I will look back fondly at this time that I got to spend with myself, even with all its highs and lows. Two major leanings for me were that God says “Tathastu once every day so one should think & remember what one is asking for or thinking about and I am my best friend”

It indeed is pleasurable to spend so much of time with oneself!

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