Common Interests.

27Apr08

This is going to be an interesting write up. A challenge for me to bring out the thoughts on paper the way they are running in my mind right now. To start off I have been thinking really hard as to what should be the title for this write up, at this point of time I have given it the title of Common Interests, if any of you guys reading this have something more interesting, suggestions are welcome.

This was a very interesting topic of conversation that I had with a friend of mine & the topic caught on to my fancy so much that I kind of did a mini research on the same. I spoke to my friends, some colleagues, corporate trainers specializing in human behaviour & also a psychologist friend of mine. Buy now you guys must be wondering what this whole gamut about “Common Interest” is? The discussion that I had was how important it was for one to share the same interest with one’s partner i.e. spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend. Interests like reading the same kind of books, watching the same genre of movies, enjoying the same cuisines, listening to the same kind of music, following the same sport just to name a few.

This friend of mine felt that this was the most important factor for the relationship to sustain & survive, for him in his relationship with his partner this would be the foundation or basis for the same, he actually defied the saying that goes “Opposites Attract”. When I posed this question to the list of people whom I have mentioned above I got the exact opposite views from all of them, not even one amongst them felt it was necessary for couples to share the same interests. Infact one of my friends had an extreme view, he said he would not have married his then girlfriend now wife had she been a clone of him in the area of interests. Spouses/Partners that have diverse interests helps couples to explore new areas & introduces one another to range of interesting new activities to try together, provided the couple has an open mind & attitude to explore & adopt the other person’s interests, was what the psychologist friend of mine had to quote.   

What are my thoughts on the same? Well a couple of day’s back I happen to catch up on a bollywood potboiler & sometimes these movies do have some interesting lines. So this movie that I saw had a dialogue which I think makes a lot of sense in the context of this blog, it went like this “We fall in love because we like that someone, but to sustain that love we need to adopt the likes of that someone whom we like” please pardon me for the grammar since I was trying to translate the same from Hindi to English. I would say that all these likes, interests are all incidental factors, the bottom line is about spending time with our partner, there would have been umpteen times when all of us would have done things which are not exactly of our interest but still enjoyed the whole experience, like me watching a hardcore violent movie, though not my types but still had fun. Again another factor is that interests, likes are all variable factors and are bound to change with times & with age as well. Like I was an absolute Coffee Drinker a couple of years back & today am a “Chai” person & enjoy coffee no more a very small example to quote.

I would like to re-quote what my psychologist friend had to say the Crux is having an Open Mind & attitude to adopt & change, I think that goes not only for relationships with partners but for any relationship. If we like or rather would like to use a stronger word if we Love that someone, we will work out & do all the possible things to make the relationship stronger & successful. I have seen people of different cultures, religions & nationalities coming together & adopting each others values & religious beliefs, so interests look very tiny in comparison to those factors.

I would like to end this with a very strong notion that a friend of mine has and I too feel speaks volumes about the success of any relationship,is adopting & making our partners weakness as our strength & vice versa.

 

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